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Thebes Digest

(Thebes: the capital of Ancient Egypt, now known as Luxor.)

King Tutankhamun

www.come.to/thebes


Wed 7th of June 2000
Issue Number 4

=======
Contents
=======


1) Author's note
2) News
3) Websites
4) Downloads
5) Article
6) Quickies
7) Contributions
8) Quiz Answers
9) Stuff at the Bottom

============
1) Author's Note
============


Welcome to another issue of Thebes Digest. I was having 2nd thoughts about this newsletter this week. I realised that no one is using the Recommend-it feature to recommend this newsletter to others. Either you don't like the newsletter or you're too lazy to click the link. If it is the first reason, then I can't do anything about that, but if it is the second reason I may have a better idea. If you like my newsletter, just forward it to your friends, if they like it they will subscribe, if they don't they'll just delete it. For the time being, I'll send this newsletter once every 2 weeks instead of weekly. You'll also notice the size will grow because I intend to keep you busy during these 2 weeks.

I was busy last week trying to register a .com domain for Thebes Digest. I started out by trying thebes.com. It was taken but when I tried to check this site with my browser, I found nothing. It seems someone has registered it for later use or it is just parked by someone. Also the .net and .org versions were taken. So I thought I'll remove the "s" at the end of Thebes and try Thebe. Intelligent I thought. I tried that out but it was taken too. So again I tried to access thebe.com from my browser to see what it was all about. Surprise!!!

Yes it was a surprise. The owner of this domain has made it clear that the domain is for sale. The owner of this domain has also registered thebe.net and thebe.co.uk. As if that wasn't enough, he went on talking about the history of Thebes and gave some ideas about bussinesses that could profit from such a domain. I was shocked. I'm only a person who runs a small newsletter and a website, but what if I was a company that really wanted that domain I'd have to buy it from that person at the price he asks for. I think that is blackmail. If you don't really use a domain name then you shouldn't register it and force others to pay for it. They have also listed a number of other domain names they have registered and which are also for sale.

Since there is no way to stop that, I would recommend that every little company that is thinking of having a website in the future would register their domain now, before someone else takes it.

I heard about something that may solve these problems. Until now domain names have been written in English only. The piece of news I read says that Arabic Domain Names are just around the corner. That means you will have to write the site's name in Arabic language in your browser. This could cause lots of trouble ofcourse, since non-Arabic enabled Operating systems will only be able to access these sites by typing in their DNS (eg. 163.121.42.35). Also Arabic language is written from right to left (opposite to English). In Arabic, the same letter could be written in different forms according to its position in the word. They will also have to define alternatives for .com, .net, etc... and the country domains (.eg, .fr, .uk, etc...). I think that this will be a mess if it is not handled very professionaly. This does not apply on Arabic only, but it extends to every other language which uses letters not found in the English language.

Anyway, I ended up registering www.thebesdigest.com   . It is working now, you can try it. I registered it using Namezero, therefore you'll find an advertisement attached to the bottom of the browser. If you don't like that, you can still go to  http://thebesdigest.tripod.com   .

Regards,
 Hazem El-Oraby (owner@thebesdigest.com)

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======
2) News
======


*** SPUD Server is the world's first vegetable powered web server, it is powered by potatos. Spudserver currently only serves a couple of pages. It runs on a stripped version of the Linux Kernel. Pictures of SpudServer can be viwed at their gallery. The potatos are changed every couple of days. You can log onto spudserver from their site but don't expect much.
http://totl.net/Spud/

*** W97M/Resume.a@mm is a variant of the W97M/Melissa family with a very dangerous payload. McAfee AVERT has given it a risk assessment of MEDIUM--ON WATCH. This is a worm and it spreads through email with an attachment in this format:
Subject: Resume - Janet Simons
To: Director of Sales/Marketing,
Message:
Attached is my resume with a list of references contained within. Please feel free to call or email me if you have any further questions regarding my experience. I am looking forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Janet Simons.
Attachment: Explorer.doc
If the file EXPLORER.DOC is opened, it forwards itself to everyone in your address book. When you close the attachment, it deletes files on your hard-drive. Please do not open the attachment.

*** "Someone has been mailing large blue envelopes, seemingly at random, to people inside the US. On the front of the envelope in bold black letters is printed, "A gift for you from the Klingerman Foundation." When the envelopes are opened, there is a small sponge sealed in plastic. This sponge carries what has come to be known as the Klingerman Virus, as public health officials state this is a strain of virus they have not previously encountered.
Those who have come in contact with the Klingerman Virus have been hospitalized with severe dysentery. So far 7 of the 23 victims have died. PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO EVERYONE YOU CARE ABOUT."
WAAAIIIIIIIIT, before you fire up a new message to warn the world about this new lethal virus, remember in a previous issue I told you about the NastyFriend99 Hoax. What I didn't realise then, is that Hoaxes could be much worse than a fake email virus. The message above has been circulating in the past week warning people about a real deadly virus that can end your life and not just ruin your motherboard. I think it is very silly to believe such a message and pass it on. If you want to know more about the Klingerman Virus Hoax visit
http://www.cdc.gov/ncidod/klingerman_hoax.htm

*** Microsoft has released Windows Me RC-1 (Release Candidate 1) -- also known as build 2525.6 -- to beta testers. According to Beta testers you have been working with Microsoft for a long time, this may mean that Windows ME will be available within 2 months, most probably by August. Many changes have been made in this edition, the most important of which is the "Fast-Boot" feature. Dell will be the first PC maker to deliver a Fast Boot PC. When combined with Fast Boot hardware like Dell's, Microsoft says Windows Me will provide faster system boot times of 30 seconds or less. In fact, to be called a 'Fast Boot' PC, a system must boot in 30 seconds or less. Learn more about Fast Boot at
http://www.microsoft.com/hwdev/newpc/fast-boot.htm .

*** For the first time in Egypt, you can now purchuase goods online using your credit card. Credit cards issued from Egypt have been blocked, by the Egyptian banks that issue them, from being used online. It was a security measure. Only last week, Banque Misr announced that it is now issuing new internet credit cards for its customers. This will give Egypt a huge leap into e-commerce. I visited their site but it seems it hasn't been updated yet, but may be updated anytime now. Learn more about Banque Misr credit cards at
http://www.banquemisr.com/English/Services/CardCenter.htm

*** Speaking of online usage of credit cards, American Express has banned the use of their credit cards for payment to access porn sites.
http://www.wired.com/news/business/0,1367,36608,00.html?tw=wn20000526

*** Comdex Cairo 2000 is over. It ended on the 31st of May. One of the anouncements that really made me happy, is the news about a new company that will be producing computers here in Egypt (not just assembling computers). It is called Omega 1. This is not the first company doing this (we had NilePC and others for a while), but it is the first to produce Notebooks as well as desktops and servers. Notebooks are very, very, very expensive in Egypt, because they are all imported American Brand names. This may mean that affordable notebooks will be seen in Egypt soon.

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=========
3) Web Sites
=========


*** Internet Explorer 5 Companion
This website delivers the Internet's best guide to Microsoft's Internet Explorer 5 web browser suite. The site is your complete tutorial and guide, here on-line, and is written by a team of professional journalists. If you are using IE5 or thinking of upgarding to version 5.01 or 5.5 then you must visit this site.
http://www.netmag.co.uk/ie5/default.htm

*** Free.com
Get something for nothing. This site gives you links to sites which offer Free everything. Here are some of their main sections : Business & Careers, Fun & Games, Catalogs & Info, Internet, Merchandise, Kids, Money & Prizes, Seasonal, Services, Software, Free Classifieds, Free Ads, and even an Almost for free section.
http://www.free.com

*** Etour
Surf without searching. Most of the time you know want you want from the internet. You just have to go to your favourite search engine and start surfing from there. But sometimes you have absolutely no target. Etour lets you specify what your interests are, and then it takes you to related sites when you press the "Next" button. You can even have a random tour around the internet. You have a Start page, which you can make your browser's homepage.
http://www.etour.com

*** Anonymizer
Privacy is your right. That's what the anonymizer promises you. Go to the anonymizer and enter the URL of the site you want to visit, anonymizer then redirects you to that site but all of your personal details. You can also send email from their site to anyone without exposing your name or any details that can be traced back to you. You can also load the Anonymizer Window Washer program to increase you privacy and security (see the downloads section below)
https://www.anonymizer.com/3.0/services/index.shtml

*** 3Alkhat
This is n Egyptian site, but is for everyone. It allows you to send SMS to any mobile phone in the world all for free and you are not limited to a certain number of messages per day. It is a nice site and it is one of a few sites that can send SMS to Egyptian phones. They have put all the code in a very user friendly shockwave file which takes a while to doiwnload. This is about the only bad thing about the site, it takes some time to download. They will offer a free email service soon.
http://www.3alkhat.com

*** MTNSMS
When I found about 3alkhat, I was very happy because now there are 2 sites that deliver SMS to Egypt instead of one. But I found out that the sites that previously refused to send are now allowing you to send SMS to Egypt. MTNSMS is one of these sites. It has a great service. You can track your outgoing messages to make sure they were delivered. This sites sends SMS to lots of other countries.
http://www.mtnsms.com

*** Fungreeting [Tamer]
A nice small site that gives you a few tricks. [Tamer] wants you to have a look at the cards magic trick, also have a look at the blackdot illusion. the rest of the site is also worth a look.
http://www.fungreeting.com

*** McAfee Virus Scan updates
This is a link that takes you directly to the download page of the McAfee Virusscan .dat virus definition update files. You must have a 4.0 or later (latest is 4.5) scan engine to be able to use these definition files.
http://download.mcafee.com/updates/4xa.asp

*** Britannica
Not much to say here, the name speaks for itself. This is the on-line version on the very famous Encyclopaedia Britannica. The full 32 volumes of the encyclopaedia will be going online. A site you must add to your Favourites.
http://www.britannica.com

*** Beta News
If you want to have a look at the software that is still under development, and which you will be using in the future, then visit this site.
http://www.betanews.com

*** Fast Search (Alltheweb)
This is a search engine coming from Norway. It is said that they have the largest amount of web addresses indexed. Yet this only amounts to less than 20% than the what the web really has. It is FAST and effective. It has a good future too.
http://www.alltheweb.com

*** Internet Acronyms
Get to know the Internet acronyms frequently used in chats. Familiarity with the more common acronyms will make IRC more friendly and less confusing. Keep a list of Internet acronyms handy for easy reference.
http://www.ivillage.com/click/tools/howto/articles/0,5639,20110,00.html

*** Worst of the Web
This site features the worst sites on the web. Its like the "Turkey of the Year" prizes that some magazines feature at the end of every year. If you have nothing better to do, visit this site.
http://www.worstoftheweb.com  

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§§  If you like my newsletter then Recommend it   §§
§§      to someone and you may win $10,000.        §§
§§                To Recommend-It goto                      §§
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§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§


==========
4) Downloads
==========


*** AnalogX Script Defender v1.01, 222 Kb, Freeware
AnalogX Script Defender allows you to intercept any system calls for the most common types of scripts, including JScript, VBScript, and WindowsScripting. The program works with all browsers and e-mail clients, can be customized to include more script types, and help you safeguard you PC against the next virus that hits the globe. It enables you to abort any intercepted execution of a supported script.

*** EzPop v2.8, 672 Kb, Freeware
EzPop is a "skinnable" e-mail notification tool. You can monitor up to 10 e-mail accounts, perform checks every 1 to 99 minutes, select the program's interface (with the three included skins), and customize an alarm to notify you of an e-mail's arrival. You can also save and delete messages, filter your e-mails, display only message headers, and reply to messages.

*** QuantaZip v2.1 Build 129, 722 Kb, Shareware
QuantaZip is a Microsoft Outlook add-in which automatically compresses and decompresses (using the ZIP format) any e-mail attachments that you send and receive. QuantaZip lets you transparently compress and decompress your Outlook e-mail attachments, thus enabling you to reduce network traffic, any dial-up charges, and any storage costs. It includes e-mail safety features to password-protect your messages, and allows you to create self-extracting files for your attachments.

*** AnalogX Pow! v157, 213 Kb, Freeware
AnalogX Pow! allows you to eliminate those pesky pop-up windows. AnalogX POW lets you automatically close popup advertisement windows, but can be customized to shut down any unwanted browser window as well. In addition, you can import DAT file window lists.

*** Opera (32-bit) v4.0 beta 4, 1.66 MB, 30-day trial
Opera (32-bit) is a fast, flexible, multi-window Web browser. Opera has full support for all HTML elements and has a very flexible user interface which integrates Web browsing, newsgroup access and e-mail. Opera's unique multi-window interface allows you to have multiple home pages, one for each window. You can even have bookmarks (or favorites) that open multiple pages. To speed up browsing, Opera gives you a great deal of control over how graphics are retrieved and displayed in each window.

***
WinMorph v2.01, 707 Kb, Freeware
WinMorph lets you create a digital movie showing one image warping and morphing into another. With WinMorph, you can create professional morphing sequences with little effort. The program warps individual images and creates digital movies (in AVI format) or saved image sequences by morphing between frames. You can also rotate, resize, and twist images for custom effects. You can also combine several separate morphs into a single movie, with motion and transparency effects.

*** Fast Formulas v2.0, 152Kb, Freeware
{Pre-crafted formulas for Excel} Close friends don't understand how I'd rather pay someone else to do a job for me. "But you could do it yourself," they say. Yes, but why reinvent the wheel? Sure, some mathematical equations are simple enough to enter into a single spreadsheet, but look at this before you start typing; you'll find formulas for finances, marketing, operations management, and engineering economics. You supply the numbers.

*** FileSort v1.0, 541Kb, Freeware
FileSort is a win9x command line program (DOS) which will get a directory listing of all the files in a folder matching a specified wildcard, and automatically sort them into subfolders based on their names and the options you choose.

*** FreeTetris 2.1 M, Freeware
The tetris game with the amazing graphics and original interface. It includes both the standard tetris game and many more exciting game variations.

*** CacheMover v1.0, 24k, Freeware
This program allows you to make a copy of your Internet Explorer cache to another folder. This cache is a collection of all of the pages and their contents which are stored on your hard disk for faster retrieval if you revisit that site again. You may need to flush your cache sometimes so that updates to certain pages can be loaded properly. Using CacheMover you can bring everythink back to normal again if you need to do so.

*** Anonymizer Window Washer
Download this program to clean up whatever tracks you want removed, whenever you want. Window Washer will automatically clean your browser's cache, cookies and history. You can also clean your Recycle Bin, Windows Temporary Folder, recently opened document list, Window Registry Streams, Windows Find History, Windows Run History, CHK Scan Disk Files, MS Office '97 Tracks and more! Netscape, Internet Explorer & AOL compatible.

*** AdSubtract SE
AdSubtract SE can block web advertisements from appearing in your web browser. It also can block Internet cookies from being read or written to your computer by web servers and ad-servers. You can configure AdSubtract to block advertisements and/or cookies from all sites, or only from some sites and not others. The benefits of blocking ads are faster viewing of web pages and less distraction from unwanted junk on your screen. Blocking cookies from being read and written to your computer enhances your online privacy.

*** Jabber v0.9.5.4, 1.1MB, Freeware
This is a unified Instant Messenger that supports industry standards (including both AIM and ICQ). Use it instead of having multiple IM clients cluttering your workspace.

*** Shrishail's Webpage
This page contains 3 very useful tutorials. They are in .chm format. The tutorials are about Fat32, the registry and overclocking. The 3 guides are very useful. But I should warn you that these are 3 very dangerous issues. Messing up the registry can ruin your windows, Fat32 can erase your harddisk and overclocking can burn your processor. So I recommend them for you to READ but don't start messing up anythng until you know exactly what you're doing.


If you know of a good program that you want to share with the rest of us, please tell me.

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=======
5) Article
=======

Smarter Browsing

In the last issue I started to tell you how to get better speeds from your modem and hardware. In this issue I will tell you how to tweakup your dial-up adapter in order to get better speeds.

Windows 95 and 98 comes with some default settings that are more suitable for LAN users. Users who use modems (or Dial-up users) are forced to use these settings because Windows gives them no control over these settings. The only way to change these settings is from (guess what?) the registry. This word may be a nightmare for some users, so some third party companies came up with software that can do these changes for you.

First I will tell you about these settings and then I will tell you about the different programs that allow you to change them.

The data is transmitted through the internet in
"Segments". You don't get the files as one piece. When the modem gets the segments, it starts putting them together to reconstruct the full file again. When your computer requests a file, your ISP starts negotiating a segment size with the server that holds the file.
The segment only holds the data, but this segment needs some information about its destination and some related stuff. This informtion is put in the "
Header". The segment and the header are wrapped together in a "Packet" or "Transmission Unit".
Since the size of the header is always fixed (40 bytes - divided into 20 bytes for TCP and 20 bytes for IP), it is best to associate each header with a large segment. This means that you will get less un-needed data. Windows defines the default packet size to 1500 byte. This means 1460 bytes go to the data segment and 40 bytes goes to the header. So each file you request will be divided into 1460 bytes segment and associated with a 40 byte header to make the 1500 byte packet. These packets are sent to your modem, which strips the header and throws it away and then reconstructs the file from the segments.
If you think of this, you will find that the bigger the Packet size, the better. That means you will be getting less headers and more data. But some servers can't transmit 1500 byte packets. They have to break these down to smaller packets. If one of these servers lies between your ISP and the server that contains the file then that server would be a called a
"Router". The router fragments the packet to match the size that it can handle. So if it can only handle 1200 byte packets, it will divide your 1500 packet into 2 packets each with its own header. Imagine this happening to every packet that passes by this router. This would mean you will get twice the number of the original packets, with alot of wasted space . If the original server was told to fragment the packets into 1200 byte segments instead of 1500 byte, the process would have been much easier and much faster.
Since there is no way of finding out the maximum packet size each router in the way of your file can handle, the best way is to set the maximum size of the packets to the smallest packet size that any server allover the internet can handle. This size is 576 bytes. This means the data segment is only 536 bytes and the header is 40 bytes. Although this is a small size for the data segment, this will gurantee that no fragmenting will occur in the way and thus you will get the data as it was meant to be sent to you. This also means that there will be less errors and that the original server will not have to resend any data. Resending data can be very time consuming.
But, Microsoft must have known all of this, why did they set the default to 1500 and not set it to 576 from the start? The answer to this is that Windows is optimised for LAN and not for Dialup Modems. Using LAN, 1500 is good since it is much faster. In fact, if you are using cables or even statellite you should set it to 10,000.
The maximum packet size is set from windows. It is called the
MTU (Maximum Transmission Unit). This includes the data segment and the header. The maximum size of the data segment is also set from windows. It is called the MSS (Maximum Segment Size) and it should be 40 bytes smaller than the MTU.

When your modem recieves the packet, it strips the header off and discards it. The data segment is then put in the
RWIN buffer. As long as the buffer is not full, the modem can continue to recieve more packets. When the buffer fills up, your modem stops recieving and sends its contents to be processed.
If you are only downloading a file, then it is better to have a big buffer because this will enable your modem to recieve data continuously. This is because the data recieved is directly stored to your hard disk. But when you are browsing, your data needs to be processed faster because your browser has to reply to the incoming data in order get new data sent to it. This means you need a smaller buffer, to ensure that it fills up quickly, so the data will be sent to the CPU quicker. Therefore, if you are browsing and downloading at the same time, you should set the buffer to a medium range to get the best of the 2 worlds. If you are only downloading (a big file) then make a large buffer to ensure that you are getting your data as fast as possible. If you only use the internet for browsing then set the buffer to a small size to get a more responsive system. Faster connections (eg. cable and satellite) can benefit from a larger buffer size.
The buffer is set by changing the RWIN (Default Recieve Window) setting.
To sum this up:-

MTU
MTU= MSS + Header (40 bytes)
Default=1500 Recommended=576
Range= 576 to 1500
Never set this higher than your ISP's MTU.

MSS
The size of the data segment. Always 40 bytes smaller than the MTU.

RWIN
Default=2 Recommended= 4 to 6 (It depends on how you use the internet)
Range= 2 to 10
(setting to 4 means the buffer can recieve 4 times the size of the MSS, ie. 4*MSS)


There a some other things I would like to tell you about.

1)
TTL (Time to live)
Your computer is connected to your ISP which is connected to other servers allover the world. When you request a file, the data is sent through a series of servers until it reaches your ISP. Each of the servers between your ISP and the original server is called a "
Router". When the data goes from one router to another router this is called a "Hop". The further away the data is from your site, the more hops it will have to take to get to you. You can set the maximum number of hops allowed for your data. If you set it to a small number, then you will not be able to get alot of the distant sites, your browser will tell you that the site was not found. If you set it to a large number you will be able to access all the sites even if they are 100 hops away from you, but if the site you are looking for is not available, it will take more time for your browser to stop searching for it.
Default=16 Recomended=64
Range=16 to 128


2) You should never set your MTU to a number bigger than your ISP's MTU. If you do so, you are guaranteed to get every single packet delivered to you gets fragmented. To find out what your ISP's MTU is you can either ask the customer service or you can use the following technique. This does not work with all ISPs. Try to connect using the post dial-up terminal window, after entering your name and password, enter ppp. You will see some text appear in the window, some ISPs show their MTU in this area. Press F7 to continue.

3) To find the best MTU for your connection, use the FindMTU utility that comes with EasyMTU. Use it with many different sites at different locations. This will show you the largest MTU that you can use safely. This is better than the older Ping technique.

Now, this is the part you've all been waiting for. How to change these settings. You can change these settings directly form the registry, or you can use any of these programs.

*** EasyMTU, Freeware
EasyMTU has support for Windows 95/98, Windows NT 4 and AOL. It optimizes your TCP/IP settings for your dial-up adapter (MaxMTU, MaxMSS, DefaultTTL, and more). FindMTU helps you find the best MaxMTU. I recommend this program.

*** iSpeed v2.7.3, 519 Kb, Freeware
iSpeed adjusts several Windows Registry settings which optimize the speed of your dial-up Internet connection. iSpeed helps to improve your connection throughput by letting you easily adjust the Windows 95 MTU, or Maximum Transmission Unit. This value has a significant effect on the rate that data travels across the Internet. iSpeed also lets you adjust RWIN (TCP Receive Window), TTL (Time To Live), and other useful settings. To help you make the proper settings that optimize your connection speed, iSpeed includes a graphical performance monitor that measure throughput over time.

*** DNTools v2.0, 942 Kb, Shareware
DNTools is an excellent set of connection tune-up tools for anyone who uses a modem to access the Internet. DNTools helps you improve your transfer rate by optimizing several Windows Registry settings that can have an impact on connection speed. These include the MaxMTU, PMTU, TTL, and Receive Window settings. DNTools helps you monitor your online status. After a connection is established, it displays a confirmation dialog, shows an icon on the taskbar, and optionally plays a WAV file and/or launches an application. When a connection is dropped, DNTools can optionally play a sound, automatically reconnect, redial a certain number of times, and redial if the connection speed is lower than a certain threshold. DNTools comes with a "Statistics Tool" that shows you the number of bytes received, number of bytes sent, and the kilobytes per second received and sent along with their respective averages and maximums. While you are connected, a graph shows this information in real-time. DNTools comes with an "Auto-Ping" option that can prevent connections that have stalled while downloading from timing out. In addition, DNTools even comes with a HOSTS file manager which helps speed up Web browsing by bypassing DNS lookups for frequently accessed sites. In addition, DNTools lets you bypass the annoying "connect" prompt that Windows displays. It also comes with an e-mail notification utility. This latest version has a completely redesigned user interface and includes new connection tools and an e-mail notifier.

*** Modem Wizard, Shareware
Modem Wizard helps you test, tune up and speed up your modem and Internet connection. Connection Manager helps you easily manage your connection to the Internet. Net Monitor lets you know what's happening while you are on the Internet.
Modem Wizard has five sections designated by the 5 buttons on the top of the Modme Wizard interface. Click on the jumps for specific information:
Test - Test your modem and benchmark your Internet connection
Recovery - Easily save, restore and transfer your connections
Dial Up - Test and modify your DUN connection
Optimize - Automatically tune up Windows for the best Internet connection performance
Fast IP - Speed up access to your Internet bookmarks and favorites.


*** SkyLam Intelli-Dial-UP, Freeware
A very Easy-to-use Program Interface. They CLAIM it can speed up your Internet connection up to 500% faster!



That's it for this week folks. There are other ways to get a faster connection which I will tell you about in the next issues.

If you have any questions or comments about this article then please send me an email to article@thebesdigest.com .



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§§  If you like my newsletter then Recommend it   §§
§§      to someone and you may win $10,000.        §§
§§                To Recommend-It goto                      §§
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========
6) Quickies
========


*** Who was Egypt's only woman Pharoah?

*** When can you add two to eleven and get one as the correct answer?

*** Which of these has more cervical vertebrae, a man, a mouse or a giraffe?

***
What can be seen and fills a room but doesn't take up any space?

Answers

*** The transcript of the new Voice Mail service recently installed at the Mental Health Institute:

"Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline.
-- if you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
-- if you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you now.
-- if you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
-- if you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
-- if you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.
-- if you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
-- if you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press - no one will answer anyway.
-- if you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969.
-- if you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the star and pound keys until a representative comes on the line.
-- if you have amnesia press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.
-- if you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
-- if you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
-- if you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
-- if you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
-- if you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
-- if you have low self esteem, please hang up. All of our operators are too busy to talk to you.
Thank you and have a nice day."

*** An explorer in the deepest Amazon suddenly finds himself surrounded by a bloodthirsty group of cannibals. Upon surveying the situation, he says quietly to himself, "Oh God, I'm screwed."
The sky darkens and a voice booms out, "No, you are NOT, screwed. Pick up that stone at your feet and bash in the head of the chief standing in front of you."
So with the stone he bashes the life out of the chief. Standing above the lifeless body, breathing heavily looking at 100 angry natives...
The voice booms out again, "Okay... NOW you're screwed."

*** A small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial -- a grandmotherly, elderly woman.
He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you will never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?"
She replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. The man can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him."
At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench.
In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, you'll be jailed for contempt!"

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===============
7) Your Contributions
===============

*** Send me your contributions, but please give me as much details as
possible. (contributions@thebesdigest.com)

***This one of the greatest Arabic sites, where you can Voice chatting in Arabic with Arabic people all over the world.
http://www.ayna.com/chat.cp.php3
Also you can search in Arabic and read in Arabic..News..Cards..Chatting..Best 100 Arabic sites..etc.

[Mohammed Al-Kamel]


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========
8)Answers
========


*** Hatshepsut, who ruled from 1492 to 1458 B.C. She ruled jointly with her half-brother, Thutmose III, whom she married.

*** When you add two hours to eleven o'clock, you get one o'clock.

*** All have 7 cervical vertebrae.

*** Light


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================
9) Stuff at the Bottom
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